


Adhesive

by AzcaSky



Category: A.C.E (Beat Interactive Band), HOTSHOT (Band), UNB (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Drinking, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Mention of alcohol, junchan if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 15:01:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29262414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AzcaSky/pseuds/AzcaSky
Summary: Hojung thinks he has Yuchan mostly figured out. Well, he does, but he also doesn't.It doesn't matter, in the end of the day. It's all good.
Relationships: Kang Yuchan | Chan & Go Hojung
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8





	Adhesive

**Author's Note:**

> This fic has been sitting and collecting dust in my folder for... 3 years now. I'm forever grateful for [SunriseSeaMonster](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunriseSeaMonster/pseuds/SunriseSeaMonster) for beta-ing this and enlightened me towards the way this could have gone better. Without you I'd be stuck with this for even longer. 
> 
> This is canon compliant and set in Black Heart promotion!  
> Warning: mention of drinking, drunk habit, alcohol. It's not bad or excessive but I guess that's what stopped me from rating this G.  
> Also, I honestly am not all that familiar with Hojung, so he might be OOC so sorry for that!

Living together with eight more people is difficult sometimes. Hojung has to remember that they all have their distinct personality, which is really only a nice way to say that they can be major assholes for each other. God knows how long they can stand Hyunggeun's un-hygiene with Daewon's borderline obsessive compulsive-ness about cleaning without wanting to kick one or both to the next neighborhood, several times. And that's only on the surface.

They can get through it, mostly, because they try to be considerate of each other to be able to do their job. But to Hojung's eyes, it’s all possible partly because of Yuchan.

When dispute happens, Gwangsuk always tries to mediate and listen to both sides, but he doesn't always know what to do, and Euijin trying to give advice while ending up being naggy doesn't help. Yuchan, somehow, always assesses without judgment, and solves problem in a way that is most agreeable with everyone. With only so much as a smile and a squeeze on the arm, he diffuses fights and lifts tensions. He prevents friendly banter from turning into serious fight. He stops serious fight from becoming a full-blown resentment. He always tries to make it fit, and amazingly, he mostly succeeds.

It doesn't escape Hojung's eyes, how Gwangsuk often glances at Yuchan when situation starts to sour and then somehow Yuchan always understands, steps in, and then they all will laugh again as if the argument never happened, as if it’s silly to even think about.

Hojung doesn’t think it’s silly. He makes a mental note for it, cataloging it in his mind, and mulls about it for a long time.

Yuchan is awesome, and Hojung respects him; envies him, even. Maybe also _fear_ him, a little bit.

Which is why, despite claiming that there’s nothing awkward between them, Hojung can't help but get jealous and, well, a bit annoyed.

i.

It's been a long day. Tomorrow they are going to go to the Press Conference, their first one as UNB, an official start to Blackheart promotion. They all are nervous and tired, and anxious about the fans reactions towards the four additional “dancers”. It's frustrating to think about, but at this point, doing their best is their only choice, as it has always been from the beginning.

Hojung can feel it blanketing all of them, the barely hidden anxiety, the worry that they might get left behind _again_ , by a reason they did not and could not expect.

All of them, except _one_.

Yuchan, of course, smiles his overly bright megawatt smile and jumps around with springs in his steps. Usually Hojung will just roll with it, pretend everything else outside of his little bubble doesn't exist, but today, it's kind of difficult because—

because, well, it seems like Yuchan has been _following_ him.

For the whole day, he’s been staring at Hojung, even when Hojung just sat around and chewed on snacks, noncommittally looking at his phone. At practice, Hojung could practically feel Yuchan’s eyes boring at him through the mirror. When he napped, somehow the first thing he saw when he opened his eyes was always Yuchan.

It's not that he doesn't _understand_. Despite only knowing the younger for a little less than 6 months, living together in a close space tells you a lot about a person. And, during those times, Hojung thinks he got Yuchan figured out. Kind of.

Yuchan is someone who is always eager for new things, always want to learn, to understand. He may not be Junyoung who gets everything right in one try, but Yuchan has ironclad determination. Once he focuses on something, he doesn't let go. And he seems like he has infinite energy for the things he currently obsesses over while still excelling in everything he needs.

Hojung gets that. When Yuchan followed Gwangsuk everywhere because he wanted to learn about music producing, it felt like he found Yuchan in the leader's room more often than his own. Or when Yuchan bugged Euijin all the time to practice how to flirt with the fans. Or even much earlier, when Yuchan would secretly fawn over Seyong and copied his dance steps.

It's just that, this time, he doesn't understand why Yuchan would suddenly take interest in _him_. Especially when Yuchan doesn't even _say anything_ about it. Yuchan doesn't usually do shy, he's always straightforward with things.

"Stop it."

Hojung is scrolling through his phone, ready to fall asleep after reading this one long webtoon that will surely make him doze off midway. Yuchan, as expected, is laying down, facing him, "Hm?"

"You've been watching me all day long, right? What do you want to know?"

"Ah," Yuchan's tone is apprehensive, but not surprised. Hojung doesn't know what to make of that. He turns his phone facedown on the bed and faces Yuchan instead, waiting.

"Is there something bothering you? Come on, just tell me."

Yuchan smiles, and it's almost _bashful_ , like he's caught doing something bad and Hojung is here to reprimand him. And Hojung, well, he's not going to _scold_ him, per se. He just wants to know.

"You know," Yuchan starts, "Blackheart has the cool-swag kinda vibe, right? Well, I think you're the most natural in that element, so I just want to learn that from you..."

Hojung raises his eyebrows, "Yeah? You can just ask, though. Should we practice in front of a mirror?"

"Uh, I, um, didn't think of that," Yuchan shifts, drags his blanket a little bit higher, as if he wants to hide his embarrassment, "I thought you always look effortlessly elegant, so I just wanted to watch you more closely, that's all."

Hojung laughs, "I can hardly keep pretending to be natural when I know someone is watching me closely, Chan-ah. A lifeless camera is something else, but when someone looks at me, it feels like I'm on a stage, even though it's you."

"Ah, sorry, I—"

Hojung cuts off before he panics, "It's okay, though, I kinda knew you wanted to learn something. Just tell me right away next time, okay?"

There's a pause, and then, a smile, "Okay, hyung."

"I'm not mad at you, you know that, right?"

"I know, hyung." Yuchan returns the smile Hojung offers, and, even though it's kind of hard to see in the dimness of their room, Yuchan feels a bit brighter.

"Go to sleep, Chan-ah, we have a big day tomorrow."

There's a hum from Yuchan's general direction, and when he hears rustling and then quiet, he thinks Yuchan must have fallen asleep. But just when he is about to doze, Yuchan murmurs,

"Hyung, I can't sleep. Can you teach me that expression thing?"

Really, it's not that Hojung hates him. But it's literally been a _long_ day, and Yuchan has been watching him the _whole_ day, what else does he want that he hasn't already seen? He knows for a fact that anxiety won't make him sleep easily anyways, but when he lies down in bed, at least he _tries_. But Yuchan is an entity that is impossible to hate or to refuse. It's just written like that in his blood. So, with a sigh, Hojung gets up and turned on the light. He ruffles his own hair and sits on the edge of his bed, in front of the full body mirror.

"Come here, then, I'll teach you."

He just hopes that tomorrow the stylist won't reprimand him too much for having black circles under his eyes. Because, looking at the over-excited expression in Yuchan's face as he practices everything Hojung tells him, he feels like he won't regret it.

A few hours of making weird faces in front of the mirror is worth it if Yuchan won't annoy him, after all.

ii.

"You know," Euijin starts, a little too drunk from the many shots of soju they consumed earlier. They had held some kind of late after party to celebrate their success fancon. They played a lot and drank a lot, making use of this hard earned free time to have a good time. There’s still schedules ahead so some of them decided to head to bed at reasonable time, except for the few people who still wanted to drink (Euijin and Hyunggeun), who wanted to hang out more (Kijung), and those who have nothing better to do so were assigned to babysit Kijung (Hojung and Yuchan). They all nurse a glass of soju (cola for Kijung) as they half listen to Euijin's drunken stupor. "Don't you think you have to try harder?"

"Try what? Understand your humor?" Hyunggeun’s remark is accompanied by giggles and hiccups, in the adorable way that only Hyunggeun can pull off. Kijung laughs at whatever his hyungs said, looking more drunk than all of them despite consuming zero alcohol. Hojung cringes, silently fears for his friend's recklessness.

Euijin throws a couple of peanuts at him, which Hyunggeun expertly catches with his mouth then chews with his trademark victorious smile. Kijung wows at them while Hyunggeun makes a magician-bow gesture. Hojung is starting to have a headache. He's glad that at least this party is held at the rambunctious trio's room instead of his.

"Hyung, you okay?"

For a moment, Hojung blinks, because he doesn't remember Yuchan was staying, or why he was being quiet all this time. It takes another second to register the sleepiness on Yuchan's face, like the younger couldn't be bothered to open his eyes but tries very hard to stay awake.

Hojung shakes his head and immediately regrets it. Ouch, headache. "Nah, I'm good. You can head back, though. I'm gonna watch over them a little longer."

Yuchan shakes his head, too, and slurs, a little stubbornly, "I'm staying here too," then he blinks, frowns, and shakes his head some more, "Gonna—gotta have some sane... one."

"Yah, Hojung-ah!" Euijin half-yells, trying to look menacing but failing miserably, "You were being too much, don’t you think?"

"Really?" Hojung turns his head, sips his drink to avoid showing that he barely paid attention to the oldest.

"At the fancon," Euijin starts, "I know you have your own image, but wouldn’t it be better if you were a little more active, a little more enthusiastic?"

Hyunggeun and Kijung have taken interest in bouncing on the bed lightly, which, under normal circumstances, would earn a scolding from Euijin, but the oldest is too far gone, looking down at Hojung from his seat on the edge of the bed.

Everything feels light and buoyant, dissonant and hilarious. By his side, he can feel Yuchan's head slowly drooping. He ignores it all and drinks, the soju settling warm in his stomach.

"Yah! You don't even answer me?" Euijin chugs down his drink, and then points his finger at Hojung, "Are you always like this to your hyung?"

Hojung bristles, but reminds himself that the eldest is drunk. He glances around the room and finds the two trouble makers have passed out on the bed. Thank God.

They don't get to drink that much, if at all, during the survival, but the few times Hojung drank with Euijin, he realized that the elder had a pretty bad drunk habit. He knows the elder will feel bad about it when they wake up in the morning, but for now, he can get a little bit harsh, a little bit _hurtful_.

His words, too, one after another, start to get sharper and sharper.

“I’m older than you, and it might not matter much, but I’m also higher ranked than you, you know. It might look like your group is more popular, but I was in the industry for longer. You didn’t have that much of a line, the least you could do is dance harder and give better fanservice.”

Hojung grits his teeth, pretends he's not offended. Convinces himself it’s not really about him, that Euijin doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

"This is the chance not a lot of people get. What if the stage yesterday was the last one we will ever get? Don’t let this temporary fame get to your head, Hojung-ah.” Euijin takes a swig from his bottle again, and then he frowns, shakes his head slowly as if the taste of the drink has somehow became much sourer (soju has always tasted too sour, to Hojung’s opinion), “I don’t even know how you got your position. Honestly, you were just tagging along Moonkyu weren’t yo—"

Suddenly, a blur of movement drops down onto the bed, dragging Euijin with it. "Hyung!"

Euijin drops the almost empty bottle, forgetting that it could spill into the carpet.

 _Of course_ it's Yuchan.

"Hyung, I love you so much!" Yuchan drunkenly drapes himself on top of Euijin's body, probably trying to play-wrestle him and fails. He giggles loving words over and over until Euijin is laughing along, caressing Yuchan's head in a pleased smile.

Hojung looks at his own hand, realizing he has been gripping his glass too tight, feeling the ache when he releases.

"I'm heading back." he says to no one in particular, then leaves for his own room, deciding he's too drunk to worry.

iii.

Hansol's injury takes a toll on them. Even more than being hated, the one thing they fear the most is of not being able to dance, not being able to sing. They even promised the fans, who, in their good nature, worried for them, that they would take good care of their body and make sure that they wouldn't get an injury. Yet, not even a week into the promotion, they’re already down one member.

After the check-up, Hansol went straight to his room, assisted by Junyoung and Hyunggeun, not even bothering to greet the faces that waited and worried for him in the living room.

They looked at Gwangsuk as he silently shook his head, mouthing a 'just go back to your room'. Hansol might need time. Almost all of them had been going through something similar in the past—injury is a familiar risk in this kind of industry—but for Hansol, this is the first time. He must have been more upset and frustrated than all of them.

And besides, Hansol has Junyoung. The sweet and caring boy wouldn't ever let Hansol be alone.

Even so, it doesn't stop Hojung's worry. Junyoung might be the closest one to Hansol, but Hojung is his same-year-friend. It might be old-fashioned of them, but he still thinks that he holds more responsibility of being same-aged. He should be the one who understands the other best. He doesn’t know what he would do, but he feels like he _has_ to do something, anything.

It has only been ten minutes since Gwangsuk dismissed them, so Hojung waits a little more before getting out of his bed, as quiet as possible.

"Hyung, are you going there?"

Yuchan, of course, isn't sleeping.

Hojung just shrugs instead of answering. He can't explain his reason for going against Gwangsuk's words. He knows Hansol would probably prefer to be given privacy. Still, he wants to try going there and see for himself. "Please don't tell Gwangsuk-hyung."

Meaningless request, because he knows Yuchan. He knows the boy wouldn't want to unreasonably cause a fight, but he also doesn’t know if it would mean preventing it or mitigating it. If Yuchan had said no and told him to stay in the room, Hojung would, because he didn't want to put up a fight, didn't want to argue. He's too tired for that.

But Yuchan gets up instead, "I'm coming with you," His eyes looks at Hojung as if daring him to deny. Hojung doesn't.

So, with utmost care, they left their door ajar to lessen the sound and go up the flight of stair. Hojung knocks three times, softly, knowing Junyoung would be awake.

Junyoung opens the door. His eyes are round and watery, full with unshed tears. Yuchan and Hojung wisely ignored it as Junyoung let them in. Yuchan goes straight to Junyoung's arm, while Hojung walks further into the room, to the boy laying down on the bed with various straps on his leg.

"Hansol-ah," He expected his friend to cry or get upset or yell at him, so the stillness he faces right now frightens him, "How are you feeling?"

Hansol doesn't quite catch his eyes. He looks downwards, pretty eyelashes fluttering slowly. "Bad."

Hojung holds his hand and pokes his knuckles gently, "It's going to get better," He squeezes the hand, "We won't leave you alone."

Hansol sighs, not quite smiling, but not quite crestfallen, "I know."

They stay like that for a while longer, holding hands and not looking at each other, letting Yuchan and Junyoung's murmurs wash over them.

Later, when Gwangsuk announces it, Hojung discovers that it was Yuchan that insisted that Hansol and himself exchange room, saying that _this way, Hansol-hyung wouldn't have to go up the stairs_. Hojung looks at Hansol, who smiles shyly as he brings his phone and charger with him, Junyoung trailing behind him with the rest of his stuffs, grumbling something about needing to go to his drama shooting in a few hours.

"Please take good care of me."

Hojung returns the smile, glad that it works out with everyone's schedule this way.

Yuchan ends up sleeping alone more often than not, laying spread out on Junyoung's bed because he claims that he doesn't want to mess Hansol's bed and that _Junyoung won't come home anyway_. Junyoung always pinches him for that, starting playful fights that neither of them intends to win, but Hojung catches the forlorn loneliness in both of their eyes, and decides not to comment.

He also doesn’t mention the overheated phone that would still open to a call with A.C.E members every morning he comes to wake Yuchan up.

iv.

Nobody realizes it, but Gwangsuk had not been sleeping well, recently. Their anxieties build up as the end of the promotion period gets near, ending line looming above their heads with no promise for the future. They're all wary about what's next, afraid of new beginnings that doesn't begin anything. Especially when some of them doesn't even have any place to go back to.

Naturally, they gravitate to Gwangsuk, finding the leader's solitary room to be more comfortable to confide in than the chaotic room that is Euijin's. The time Hojung finds another member coming out of Gwangsuk's room in the morning gets steadily increasing, along with the amount of foundation Gwangsuk applies to the underside of his eyes. Hojung feels guilty, because Gwangsuk acts like he's invincible when he's not, when he's just as vulnerable as all of them, victim of uncertainties and flimsy promises. But Gwangsuk is someone who puts others before himself, and Hojung knows their leader will sooner cut his own leg than refuse the kids.

He expects Junyoung to notices first, knowing their bond goes a long way. But Junyoung is barely there, these days, busy with his own individual schedules. When he does come back, he looks so exhausted that he, more often than not, just collapses on Kijung's bed, because Kijung is the only one who wouldn't wake up to complain about Junyoung who still hasn't removed his make up or changed his clothes. It's painful, sometimes, to see his eyes getting sharper and sharper each day, masking exhaustion as chicness. Hojung doesn't know how to go about it, because it's an opportunity that doesn't come often, and he can't blame Junyoung for wanting to make himself a lifeline.

Hojung then thought that Euijin would step up, because Euijin and Gwangsuk bring comfort to each other in a way that only old married couple can, because they have mutual understanding and respect as someone who has been in the similar situation for years, connected by sheer stubbornness. So it surprises him to see that it was Yuchan who acted first.

Yuchan, who doesn’t have any obligation or responsibility to do it. Yuchan, who Hojung knows for certain practices extra hour every night now that the weight of the vocal fall on him alone with Junyoung’s absense. Yuchan, who somehow still has time to think about the others despite the constant supplement he has to take each day in fear of catching a cold and ruining his voice.

Yuchan would interrupt anyone who stays a little past bedtime in Gwangsuk's room, making up excuses ranging from producing to dancing to art, then leaves not even ten minutes after. By the time he has been doing it for a whole week, the others start to understand the message, and leave Gwangsuk's sleep time alone. It works, surprisingly, because as much as Gwangsuk loves his members, he wants to love them all _equally_ , which means he doesn't want to favor one over the other, and it works well with Yuchan's scheme.

He no longer brings the little foundation tub everywhere, opting instead to store packs of biscuits and protein bars. Hojung gets apprehensive when one day Gwangsuk pulls out sweet potato biscuit for Yuchan, understanding that it's in Gwangsuk's nature to take care of others, no matter how small or how big. Balancing those with his own physical needs is not easy, but Hojung knows that Gwangsuk would rather die trying. Hojung chuckles when he sees Yuchan accepts the snack with over-exaggerated squeal, feeling warmth and admiration blossom for the both of them as Yuchan exclaims, "Thank you, leader!"

Gwangsuk smiles back and pats Yuchan’s cheek, and maybe it will be alright, that they're so far from being perfect but they're trying, and that's all that matters.

v.

It always starts with something stupid, with Daewon. At first, it was a pack of paper clips falling out of his clutch, and Hyunggeun picking it. "Why are you bringing this along, hyung?" Hojung had asked, because it's not like they have the chance to use it, being in an industry where they don't really have to handle paper beyond reading lyrics sheet and scribbling vocal notes.

"Just in case," Daewon said as he picked the fallen clips, putting it into Hyunggeun's outstretched hand.

One thing led to the other, and suddenly Hyunggeun was exclaiming about how Daewon's clutch contained various array of trivial items that mostly had nothing to do with their daily life as idols. Hyunggeun pulled item after item that looked increasingly ridiculous, like a magician pulling things out of a magic hat. "Woah, I don't even know what this one does."

"It's a finger massager," Daewon said, laughing when Hyunggeun just stared at him incredulously, at a loss of word. It’s hard to outdo Hyunggeun's unexpectedness, yet Daewon managed to do just that by merely bringing weird items. Gwangsuk and Euijin laughed as they try to come up with other weird items that might possibly be in Daewon's possession, and laughed even more when they get it right. Yuchan and Kijung crowded them, admiring the way it all fitted into Daewon's normal sized clutch.

"Hyung, no wonder your pouch is always so heavy," Yuchan said, a tube of eyedrop in his hand, "It’s like Doraemon's magic pocket."

"It's always better to be over-prepared than under-prepared." Daewon said solemnly, and eventually they all agreed, even though it didn’t mean that it stopped being fascinating.

It took a total of 2 days of moving in the dorm to find out that once Daewon has his own room to settle into, he brings along his possessions, turning his room almost into a convenience store and trinket store combined, equally well arranged. It took 2 hours after that for the members to start taking things from there, finally coming to terms that Daewon's habit is useful and helpful and that they all are just lazy.

Hojung, too, is no exception in exploiting Daewon’s room. He takes body lotion and cotton pads, then returns the body lotion only to take more cotton pads and borrowing Daewon's weird face massage machine. There's a particular brand of face mist that only Hojung and Daewon use, and he delights when he finds it, making mental note to steal it once his own runs out. Daewon just laughs as he resigns himself to the fate, finding everything a little amusing and a little adorable.

It's in a day like that, a day where there is nothing in particular going on, that Hojung, for the first time after steadily stealing off Daewon's face mist, discovers he hasn't returned it. It's there, on the table beside his bed, above health magazines and One Piece mangas. Hojung lifts the bottle and frowns, because he remembers putting it back the last time he had used it. But without anything big going on, their days blur together, and he might have confused one day with the next.

Still.

He decides to just take the bottle and come up to Daewon's room. He probably just forgot, it's not a big deal. It just doesn't make sense when he sees the exact same bottle on Daewon's shelf, with its content being considerably less than the one in his hand.

"Hojung-ah?" Daewon stirs from his nap, and Hojung doesn't understand his reflex to hide the bottle behind his back while he faces Daewon, "What's up?" Daewon got a schedule with Gwangsuk the previous day that they said was fun, but obviously it's still tiring, seen as Daewon still looks bleary even in this hour, way after his usual wake up time.

"Just stealing cotton pad," Hojung smiles while showing the cotton pad he also reflexively grabbed, not knowing why he feels the need to lie. He slips out when he hears Daewon huffs and grumbles, escaping to his own room before Daewon wakes up even more.

In his room, he finds Yuchan in front of their mirror with headband on, applying face toner.

"Chan-ah," Hojung says, "Do you know about the face mist on my desk?"

"Hm?" Yuchan glances to see the bottle in question before going back to looking at the mirror, "Oh, I bought it when I was out with Junyoung yesterday. It's the one you always use right?"

Hojung stares at him, at a loss of word.

i.i

"What's up with you, really?" Hojung doesn’t mean it to sound as harsh as it did, but the words are out now, and he doesn’t particularly feel like taking it back.

"Huh," Yuchan says, stopping in the middle of pat-pat-pat-ing his cheek to look at Hojung, "What do you mean, hyung?"

Hojung wants to answer but can't find the words, about how he notices how uniting Yuchan has been to the group, how attentive, how powerful, in such a lowkey kind of way. He can't explain the frustration he feels, the irrational feeling that Yuchan is always one step ahead, always one notch braver, more decisive. He doesn't understand and it grates on him, how Yuchan never takes any credit for it, never expecting anything back. He’s like sand in a glass full of sharp shards of rock; he fills the gaps between them, smoothing out their edges, preventing them from hurting each other. He doesn't know what he feels, whether it's petty jealousy that Yuchan will always be closer to any of the member than he ever was, or insecurity that he can never be as good or as helpful, or both. He doesn't even know why he starts this conversation with Yuchan, knowing it won't go anywhere.

"Nothing," he says after a long pause, giving up, "Forget it."

In retrospect, he should have known, should have expected it, because it's Yuchan, and Yuchan _doesn't let go_.

"No, really, hyung," Yuchan begins, putting his skincare routine away, "Are you okay?"

There's never a right answer for that kind of question, and Hojung wonders, for the first time in a long while, how he should answer it. He'd like to consider himself a pretty easy going guy, not easily troubled by things that most people would. He's not losing sleep nor appetite, he does fine in practices, and he works out. All in all, he's okay, he's _great_ , even, but he doesn't know why he can't just say that to Yuchan, who is looking at him with increasingly concerned eyes.

"It's nothing," he finally says, "Thanks for the face mist."

Hojung moves to his bed, rummaging the pile on the floor to find the freshly laundered sweatpants he intended to use for the day. But Yuchan stops him before he could, hands hovering over his arm like he wants to touch but doesn't, and Hojung notices yet again how attentive Yuchan is even to these kind of small things, because Yuchan must have known that Hojung doesn't like surprise touch.

"Hyung," Yuchan says, careful, "Can I hug you?"

Hojung’s breath hitch as he tries to hide his surprise to the unexpected question. He thinks he has Yuchan all figured out, but apparently he is wrong, because here he is, faced with something that he doesn’t know how to deal with. The pause probably lasts for too long, but in the end Hojung lets out a shaky breath, and falls into Yuchan's embrace, just like that. He feels his thought empties out, replaced with the kind of warmth only Yuchan can bring. Yuchan pats his back, and they don't say anything, but it's enough.

"I don't know why, but this feels good," Hojung says then, burrowing his face into Yuchan's neck, for a moment forgetting the fact that he is taller, older, and he should be the one who stands steady and strong, instead of sinking down to Yuchan's shoulder like this.

He can't see it, but he can feel Yuchan smiling while squeezing, "Don't restrain yourself so much, hyung," he says, "Come to me whenever you want. I'll comfort you, it's okay."

That's probably it, something that bugs him for weeks on end. Not that he feels ridiculously inferior to Yuchan, even though that's true too, to a certain extent, but that he wants to come to Yuchan too, wants to be the receiving end of Yuchan's considerate and loving gesture, but never knows how to ask. He never wants to be a bother, never wants to add the ever increasing burden that Yuchan already bears. He realizes it now, that Yuchan especially always waits for him, waits until he lets go and asks first, waits until he himself recognizes it and stop pretending. He knows, now, that Yuchan melts and molds into different shape for different people, and for him, this is the Yuchan he gets: Yuchan who smiles and takes care of him in such a subtle way it's almost invisible, Yuchan who doesn't play with his pride, Yuchan who respects his space.

Yuchan is an amazing person, and maybe Hojung is a little envious, a little frustrated, but that's okay, because in the end they're all walking together towards the same thing, and will keep walking together even when they can no longer hold hands.

"Thanks, Chan-ah."

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly I don't even know if someone is going to read this ahaha, but if you do, thank you!
> 
> Bonus trivia: the sub-plots are divided based on roommates, and the reason this took so long was because I was waiting for that JunSol roommate vlive that we never got :")
> 
> Find me on [twt](https://twitter.com/azcasky)


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